According to Gary Chapman, there are basically five love languages or ways that people express their love.
For most couples or friendships, these are different from each other. It's very rare that we have the exact same languages of love.
When we can identify and also learn to speak our love language, we have the key to a truly loving relationship. Communication is key here.
Have a look below and see what stands out for you
Here are the five Love Languages:
1. Words of affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. According to Dr. Chapman, this language uses words to affirm other people (how meaningful they are to us, how much we love them, how much we appreciate them, etc). For those who prefer the words of affirmation language, hearing “I love you” and other compliments are what they value the most. Words hold real value within this language. Furthermore, negative or insulting comments cut deep — and won’t be easily forgiven.
2. Quality time
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. It also includes empathic conversations, sharing thoughts, feelings and desires in an open uninterrupted environment. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these individuals. Being there for them is crucial. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
3. Receiving gifts
Gifts are a symbol of thinking about your partner and often are visual gifts of love. Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
4. Acts of service
Can cleaning up the kitchen really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. These could include cooking a meal, washing dishes, changing the baby’s nappies, vacuuming the floor, cleaning the car. People who thrive on this language do not deal well with broken promises — or perceived laziness — and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them.
5. Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. Physical touch is a powerful vehicle to expressing your love. These include, holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, touching and making love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
If you wish to find out what your primary Love Language is, ask yourself the following questions:
In what way do you regularly express your love ? This is usually what you are wishing your partner would do for you.
What have you most often asked for from your partner? The thing you have most often asked for is likely to be the one that will make you feel most loved.
Lets always keep in mind that there is no right and wrong or should and shouldn't here. Every one of us can express love and receive love in the way they wish.
Take this simple quiz to identify your languages of love - click here.